Douglas learns to walk

A new walking experience on the ice-skating rink. A new cycle of failures and successes. A new self discovery. Basically, that's how I would summarise my ice-skating experience today. Though it may sound absurdly exaggerated, I truly feel that today has become a mini life walkthrough for me.

Well, initially I thought that I would need to hold on to the sides for at least half an hour before I could skate freely. Afterall, it took me quite some time during my last visit (which was in Secondary 4) to muster enough courage to skate without support. However, this time David showed me he could do it in less than 3 minutes, despite the fact that he hasn't tried it for 8 years. Maybe I could argue that he has better motor skills and therefore could maintain his balance faster than me. Nevertheless, I knew that the problem truely lies with me. I was very fearful of letting go, particularly since I was haunted by past experiences and failures. I had set a standard sub-consciously that I would need half an hour at the very least before I could skate freely. If not for this embarrassing defeat to David, I might never have realised how absurd I was! And so, I let go for what seemed like a heart stopping moment and everything seemed fine after that. Well, I'm quite sure that if I were to fall right after I have released my hands I would definitely pick myself up and try again. This is because David is not someone who would hold my hands and slowly coax me to try again like Benedict. Even though David is very close to me, (perhaps I'm his most respected friend, haha) he most probably would have just continued skating round and round and ignored my pitiful existence. Instantly, I realised that the world doesn't stop for me, that I either save myself from embarrassment or wallow in self pity. Thinking back, perhaps I have developed this over-reliance since Secondary One when I thought how easy life would be if people just care for me the whole day. : P

I also noticed several kinds of people during my 2 hour life walkthrough. There was this Malay lady who kept holding on to the sides for a very long time after David and me had skated for what seemed like eternity. However about one hour later, I saw her skating in the inner circle of the rink, far away from her safety zones. Although she was still skating very slowly, I realised she was starting to enjoy her new found independence with a smile occassionally beaming on her face. In real life, there are many people like her. Many of us start to bloom only in JC or university. I'm not trying to say that she is a bad example, and in fact I respect her a lot. She went alone to the ice-skating rink, overcame her fears alone and enjoyed her success ultimately. I thought that this process of finding out what you are capable of achieving and finally attaining success is very important, because this means you have finally found a direction that you are both enthusiastic and proud to stick to. Many people just work their lives off not knowing what they truly want or are proud of, which ends up leaving their lives entirely to the machineries of fate. (An apt description of fate) I'm not trying to say we must land in a classy or well-paid job to feel satisfaction, what I merely mean is we should achieve a goal which will allow us to start every new day with renewed hope and vigour.

Maybe you are thinking that it is obvious everyone should be able to skate after 2 hours. However, I was also surprised by this guy who still refused to let go after 2 hours. Initially, his faithful friend followed him closely while he pushed himself forward very slowly with support from the sides. After one hour, his friend patiently tried to hold his hands and coax him to leave the sides. However, he would stubbornly return to the sides everytime. Still, I was amazed that his friend had never left his side all this while, perhaps hoping that he would gain his confidence. (How I wish I also have such a friend) Finally when 2 hours were up, he fell down for the first time even though he was still holding on to his friend's hands! I thought that he had wasted his entire 2 hours there, just like some people who had wasted their entire lives away. He didn't set a target with a fixed time frame for himself, and neither did he try to overcome his problems with his own will. It's most regretful if a person has neither success nor time left on his side.

Recently, I have come to believe that I could achieve anything as long as I truly trust with all my heart and soul that I can achieve it. Have you ever felt a golden period in your life when you feel that nothing can stand in your way and you feel invincible? Perhaps now is the time to relive this most glorious moment in our lives. It is high time that we fully appreciate our self worth and pride.