It's a long, long journey

Six months fly past in a twinkling of an eye again. However, I still remember how exhausting and demanding this semester was. Personally, I feel that after pushing myself to the limits this time, I am more confident about my future endeavours. Overall, I did well for my grades and I am happy with my own performance. However, this semester also came with a heavy price, one which caused me great physical and emotional labour and intensified my no-nonsense attitude when it comes to work.

Perhaps it started from the mid term break. I was very demoralised and burnt out at that time because I ended up handling my projects alone. I remembered having to review my TA's comments, re-write the proposal and send the final copy to the office all by myself just to meet the deadline, while the other teammates were enjoying the start of the break. It was a mistake on everyone's part because we were all unaware of the deadline until the day itself. However, what frustrated me was that while I was trying to do a lot of research for the project, my teammates apparently did not appreciate the importance of the research or take the time to find out the proposal's deadline. It was then that I thought to myself I should not give up just because I was alone. Giving up would be akin to forgetting why I even bothered to step out from my comfort zone in chem engine to take a greater challenge in SMU.

At various points in time, I wondered to myself if I was overdoing it and whether my efforts were unnecessary. Therefore, I always made sure that I double checked with my teammates whether I did the right thing. In one instance, I asked someone to find relevant videos for the presentation, but it turned out that he wasn't very committed to the idea. Frustrated, I decided to search for the videos myself despite having an important test the following day. It turned out that the videos created a lot of interest and debate for both the class and my professor. In another project, I realised that I was handling both case studies by myself, despite having discussed the ideas with my teammates and delegated work to them. However, this is because some of my teammates lacked understanding in the marketing concepts required for the project. My determination was put to the test when I slept less than six hours on two days, while having a presentation and report submission and two important tests on those two days. Therefore, after overcoming these obstacles, I know I can survive and excel in overwhelming difficulties as long as I will my heart to it.

However, this semester was also one of my happiest in SMU. I've met a couple of really kind souls in SMU and became good friends with them. Can you imagine that someone in SMU actually brings around a lighter in his bag so that he can celebrate his friends' birthdays? Or someone who never hesitates to pick up his phone to give a listening ear to the mentally ill? I guess this world isn't so dark afterall, where everyone only thinks of his or her own pleasures and problems. There are people who are genuinely interested to make this world a better place for others and understand that in truth, we are all equal. It is this human spirit that kept me warm despite the feeling of loneliness and helplessness. And I'm really thankful for the outrageuous surprise they have given me on my birthday, although I must admit I was really more nervous than proud to have a hot-air spongebob balloon tied to my desk in the 300 seater exam hall. =)

Recently, I've lost a couple of valuable things close to my heart. It will probably take some time to get over them but I know life will only become happier in the days to come. Maybe a new surprise is in stall for me... who knows? But I'm sure of one thing, that I've become much much stronger... and I will not be alone.

P.S: To become greater, it's not about measuring up to others, it's about overcoming myself.